I never thought I was a violent person by nature, until all the problems started back at work because of different cultures and misunderstandings and different communications styles. I went to my new workplace (a new position with a more multicultural taste,) with the assumption that Europeans will always discriminate against those from the "Global South." It was indeed a self-fulfilling prophecy because I misinterpreted any word or action from a white person into an act of discrimination, and was on guard most of the time. This made me act aggressively a lot of times where- even if there was a mistake from the other side- I could have acted more civilized and compassionately. Hate breeds hate and it's truly a vicious cycle that leaves me depleted. Some key learning lessons for me:
- Love wins. Even if someone treats you bad, you could get your point across without sounding hateful or harsh. That way you'll be perceived as more mature and peaceful, yet firm.
- Don't gossip! Badmouthing doesn't solve problems, it only makes them worse. And words soon turn into action. Be really slow in anger and let it simmer before you take action.
- Build bridges. Do an effort to put yourself in others shoes and understand where they are coming from and how they are thinking and what makes them behave the way they do. It'll make a big difference to do so.
- And last but not least, focus! focus on what's important, the mission at hand. And when people share the same mission, they forget about the disagreements they once had.
