So Many Blessings 2015

As 2015 is coming to an end, I want to thank her for being so inspiring and beautiful and generous. It has been one of the most different years in my life, and I'm so much in awe for all the experiences I've been through, all the places I've gone, and all the amazing people I've got to know. Thank you!

Here is a snapshot of the year.

January 2015

After going through a lot of trials and hardships during this period, I decided to take a break from work and live a quiet time to rediscover myself and my priorities in life. It was quiet a brave decision for me given the fact that I’ve been working continuously since I graduated from university with no breaks in between. Now after almost a year, I can confidently say it was one of the best life decisions ever.

It was still a difficult period though with dad poor health condition and spending most of the month in the hospital. But we always witnessed quite a lot of miracles during this period that reminded us of God’s everlasting love and care.

February 2015 

I was on a notice period at work, doing my best to finish everything on time before leaving work. I also presented my these proposal at the university and it got accepted. I used this month to do a tight plan of all the things I wanted to do during my career break, I was already getting super excited. I applied for theatre school, counseling school and different traveling opportunities. I started my career break with a breathtaking vacation to Nubia- Aswan.

March 2015

This was the first month in an exciting journey of my career break. I made sure to keep it super busy in order not to feel a sudden drop in my activity level after leaving work. I started living on a low budget to save money, riding public transportation instead of taxis and living the life of a free wanderer. I started attending the school of social theatre at Jesuits centre, an intensive training for four days a week. Although I didn’t continue the school, I truly enjoyed the three months I spent there and learnt quite a lot.  I also became part of Microsoft Aspire mentorship program for college students. I resumed my counseling studies, started meditation practice, and started conducting a series of community trainings on a pro-bono basis. It was a great start to a new life. 

April 2015

I continued the theatre school and was preparing for a street performance. I continued working on my thesis. I had a good family time during Easter holidays. I started volunteering with St. Andrews for refugee services, giving professional development workshops to refugees. One of the greatest things that happened to me is coming back to creative writing, a long forgotten passion. I wrote a short story called “A Crow’s Pilgrimage”

May 2015

Another big turn for me was switching to a vegetarian diet during this month. I still don’t know the reason behind this by my body was shut off completely for eating meat.  Finished the process  of data collection for my thesis. I had an amazing and enriching volunteering experience with the refugees at St. Andrew’s and the feedback was truly amazing. I got accepted into “OUR SCHOOL” training workshop in Switzerland in June, and was so excited for my first traveling opportunity during the career break. I also got an interview with Peace Revolution for the meditation retreat in Thailand in August. The career break was getting more and more interesting.

June 2015 

During my career break, I was continuously thinking that it’s time to leave Egypt and go abroad for some time. So I started exploring opportunities, and applied for a Fulbright scholars program in the US, for which I’m  still waiting for the final result. I went to a beautiful trip to Switzerland with such an amazing group for “OUR SCHOOL” training workshop. I learnt a lot during this trip and got to know amazing people, besides the breath-taking scenery. I was going through a very difficult breakup during that time, but thanks to God and the amazing support of my close friends, it turned into a blessing in my life.  I also went on a nice vacation with my family and brother to Hurghada.

July 2015 

I continued poetry writing and came back to my page on all poetry and started taking an online poetry class. I wrote another short story and submitted it to an international contest- I didn’t get to win though. I started meeting old friend whom I didn’t get to see for ages and appreciate the quality time you spend with your good friends. Another amazing experience during this month was my trip to Jordan to attend the “Drama in Education” certificate by Qattan Foundation. It was a great learning experience, and I got to learn a lot of the Palestinian culture during this time as well. 

August 2015

No words can do justice to describe the artistic meditation retreat I participated in during this month at Thailand with Peace Revolution. It was truly one of a kind experience, transformative and life changing. I came to know and experience the true meaning of inner peace, stilling the mind, and becoming one with the universe. I’ll forever be grateful to this kind of experience. I started to integrate mindfulness practices to my life as soon as I came back, and started this blog “mindful living in the city” This retreat also connected me to an old passion of spoken word arts, since I did a performance during the retreat, and I decided to give more attention to my writing since then. 

September 2015

 My career break was coming to a temporary end. I was planning to go to South Africa on January for a five-month trip, and so I needed to go back to work to start saving some money. I started working at one of my old workplaces but then left after the first week because I felt I didn’t belong to that place anymore. I had some complication with my thesis defense which led me to register for another semester. I felt I needed to cut the clutter out of my life especially after coming back from the retreat, so I decided to withdraw from a number of activities that didn’t fit into my life anymore. I was becoming more and more sensitive towards who I truly am, and how I am spending my time. Another interesting thing that happened is that one of the e-book publishers- Bahati Books contacted me to publish one of my stories which they read on my blog. It was a great opportunity for me to get introduced to the publishing work. They helped me in editing and publishing the story. Although it wasn’t marketed widely and I had to discontinue my work with them, I’m grateful for the opportunity to get published and take the creative writing even more seriously. Another amazing thing happened to me was starting a new relation with a man I greatly admire, and I pray that we end up being together very soon. 

October 2015 

I went back to work at Save the children, my old work place for a two and half month consultancy. I felt very strange the first week at work. I even got sick. But I had to remind myself that I’m working in something that I love, even if I still hated the nine to five kind of lifestyle. I started planning for a local PR meditation retreat at Egypt along with other colleagues, and we were getting excited to have PR come to Egypt. I started giving drama classes for primary school students at Jesuits school, which was a disastrous experience and I figured out I would never work in a school again. I created a spoken word profile at soundcloud as a modest start to publicize my spoken word.

November 2015 

I was getting busy preparing for the meditation retreat in December. I also did my thesis defense, however I didn’t pass and had to do major revisions for the thesis. I’m still stuck in this painful process and not even sure if I’ll get out of it alive or not. I started writing a new short story “Rites of Passage into Death” and decided to contract an independent editor to have freedom in publishing later on. 

December 2015 

The most beautiful thing in this month was the meditation retreat that took place at Nubia. Whenever I go to this place I feel totally at my center, it’s like a place where I’m meant to be. I started planning for 2016. I did a drama session with a group of  children which I enjoyed and I spent some quality time with the family during the holidays. I finished the draft of my short story and it’s out for editing and can’t wait to publish it. I’m getting excited already for the new year!!! :)

 

Cheers to a beautiful year gone by, cheers to much more beauty to come!

Expanding your safe space

One of the bad experiences I've ever faced in my life was staying in a place where I didn't feel safe, where my true identity was forced to hide behind masks and masks of pretension and lies. I kept blaming the world and the people for being fake, for forcing me to act and pretend; yet the problem wasn't in them, it was in me. First, I was so insecure to be myself around people. I wanted to stick by the rule and play it safe, and the more I played it safe, the more the rule became. Second, I did to others what was being done to me, I judged people by the way they looked, talked or acted, and didn't allow them the same safe space I was requesting for myself.

In a world full of lies and fake materialism, we can either choose to follow the herd, or become the beacon of light for those who keep looking for security, acceptance and pure love. Yet, in order to become a safe space for others, we need to become one for ourselves first: to accept, nurture and release our true authentic self no matter how weird or unusual it is to the world.

So, start creating your own safe space inside of you slowly and gradually. Start ridding yourself of the lies and fears and nurture your beautiful self before you release it to the world. Those who are true to themselves will gladly welcome it, while those who are still living a lie will bash you while secretly feeling jealous of your own limitless freedom.

Namaste!