Guard your mindset

I've noticed lately that I was losing my joy in life, my ability to be satisfied and grateful. Although life has been treating me good lately, giving me everything I've been dreaming of, I wasn't able to enjoy that, to actually feel gratitude. I got stuck in this vicious circle of complaining-- complaining about life, the country, the stupidity of people around me, the futility of it all. As if nothing is enough, nothing is incomplete.

And yesterday, I felt I've had enough and decided to reflect on this. I noticed that my brain was rewired to repeat what everyone around me is saying every single day: life is crap. people are crap. This wave of darkness and hopeless worldview took strong hold of me and influenced my attitude towards life, those around me, and myself.

And now, I decided to rewire my brain back to my more natural worldview. The one that God gave me a long time ago-- one that believed in the beauty of life and creatures, in the inherent goodness of people despite the evil, in our strength as God's light in the world, that actions speak stronger than words.

I'll be more watchful of my mindset from now on. 

Losing the happiness

Sometimes I struggle to find meaning in life. Yes, I wake up everyday, go to to work, do stuffs I like, but I keep asking myself if I'm going anywhere or simply wasting time. I'm not taking about goals, but rather a bigger purpose in life, something I live for. Before, I used to try so hard not to give in. But now, it seems that my energy is running out slowly.

I feel so disconnected from everything around me-- from myself, the people, it's like being in a cocoon. And everything starts to feel cold and dull. Even the things that I once enjoyed slowly lose their glamour.

Anyway, I'm still determined to get back to my mindful life, where I felt more connected and in harmony with the being.

And my first action will be: complain less, thank more.

I'll keep this space updated.