The following spoken word performances took place during the Artistic Meditation Retreat organized by Peace Revolution at Mooktawan sanctuary in Thailand, August 2015. The creative process was new and intense for me, and I'm currently devoting an article focusing mainly on meditation and the creative process.
For now, please enjoy the following two performances
The Child in Me
She asked me to lay down, close my eyes, and go back, way back to my childhood when everything was so peaceful and serene...
I closed my eyes and envisioned a baby girl so happy and carefree...She spent her morning playing with her friends at school, and her nights were lost in sweet dreams...
Yet that happy vision soon turned into a gloomy one, for the baby girl grew into an adolescent who wasn't that carefree...She was surrounded by drugs, violence and busy parents trying hard to pay the bills and a world full of insanity...
Living in that messy world, she lost herself and her purity...and got trapped in a dark endless cycle of fear, loneliness and insecurity...the God, the God she once believed in no longer existed and was replaced by vanity...
Yet, one day, when all went so wrong and unbearable, she had no choice but to scream...she screamed it all out, she cursed and cried and fall down to her knees, and voiced down her pain and misery...and then, she surrendered...
In a sudden aura of silence, she surrendered...and just kneeled down, with her eyes closed and her mind still...
She found herself transfered into another place, another space, deep deep down into her soul...It was so deep, yet so full of light...
In that place all her anger was turned into stillness, and all her questions needed not be answered, for the answers were found in her surrender to divinity...
The Battlefield of My Mind
Sometimes I turn into an inquirer of truth...a freedom fighter... a psychotic believer...and a atheist writer...But all the times I'm a fierce warrior...fighting a battle in the field of my mind.
It's a dark fight...with an enemy...that happens to be...a part of me.
I have no weapons...I have no army..I've been imprisoned...with no one to guard me.
A refuge in a dark prison...with a stained dark window deforming my vision.
I'm fighting to get out...but out to where?!...There is no where... where I can hide...from a monstrous mind...I'm trapped for life...I fight and strive...but always lose...cause it's a fight with a darkened mind.
Where can I hide...and see the light...that leads me out...that leads me to home...that leads me to OUM.
And one dark night...I closed my eyes...and waited there...in great despair.
My eyes wide shut...became eyes wide open...I saw a light...and a door wide opened.
A guard stood there...infront of the door...he asked me one question...what are you looking for?
I looked down at my scars and wrinkles... and made one wish
"Return me back to innocence...to my childhood faith in life...amusement in the simple joys...to my peace and pure love."
And then he answered... you are already near...let go of worry and fear...continue the journey towards your home...your resting place...It's closer than you think...It's better not to think...Just close your eyes and be still...For those who seek will find...and for those who knock the door will be wide opened.
Namaste!
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